Well it’s been a week since my surgery and I’m finally feeling a bit more like myself.
Last Friday was an extremely smooth process. My arrival time was 4:45am and I was admitted by 5:15am. Sleep the night before was non-existent. I think I slept for 3 hours total before giving up and reading till my alarm went off. Before any kind of surgery I would assume there are some nerves for most people or at least there was for me. My major concern was being ‘put under’ anesthesia. I don’t know why this was such a worry for me but the idea of being ‘put under’, kind of creeps me out. I kept reminding myself that I had done it before and everything was fine but worry had a way of settling in regardless.
Most people would not believe this to be true but my family can attest to the fact that I tend to be scared of everything. When I was little I would not go out into our backyard without someone beside me (even if that someone was my tiny baby sister). I was 100% afraid of the dark and I was convinced that if my entire body was not covered by my blanket at night something would get me. Walking to the mailbox in broad daylight while my mother watched from the front door was even a little sketchy in my 5 year old opinion.
I learned to pray as a young child because of all these fears. I would repeat to myself almost all the time 2 Timothy 1:7 “God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of POWER, and of LOVE, and of a Sound-Mind”. This gave me the confidence that I needed as a child to live my life with power. If God does not give fear, then where did it come from? And why do I want to hold onto something that did not come from God? So I have done my best to live a life focusing on the power, love, and sound-mind that God has given me. But there are times when it feels overwhelming and for some reason the idea of going under anesthesia felt like a blanket of fear. I stayed up half the night praying. I don’t know about you, but when I pray, I talk to God as if I’m talking to my best friend. So just like a child talking to their father or two friends chatting the night away, I began to ask for comfort, peace and a sign.
While I was laying in the hospital bed waiting for my scheduled surgery time the anesthesiologist came into speak with me. He went over all my history, extensively. His knowledge was incredible but the way he spoke to me made all the difference. He was extremely patient and kind. After going over all my information – and all the negative things that could go wrong – he asked his final question, “Do you have a religious preference?”. I realized this was normal because they had asked me the same question during my previous surgery. I told him I was a christian. Then he asked me something interesting, ” I would also like to know, with your permission, if I could say a blessing over you before surgery”, I was slightly shocked by this question but also curious what he meant by blessing. “Do you say the blessing now or when you take me back?” I asked with curiosity. He kindly explained that he could do it now if I preferred while JD was with me. I looked at JD and smiled then said “I would like the blessing now”. He walked over grabbed my hand, knelt down next to my bed and began to pray. He prayed that Jesus would be with us in the surgery room. That every cancer cell would die and be gone. That I would be completely healed and that God would bless his hands and my surgeons hands during the procedure. He prayed that God would move on my behalf and he thanked God for entrusting my life with him. He thanked God for the privilege of being one of my doctors and that everything would work together for my good. When we all said “Amen” it was like I had lost the ability to speak. The OR nurse quickly stepped into the room and said they were ready for me. I looked at JD and my mom who were standing by the door and I began to get emotional thinking this is it. The anesthesiologist looked into my eyes, grabbed my arm and asked, “You believe don’t you?”. I looked at him with tears of joy in my eyes and confidently said, “Yes I do”, and he replied “then God has you”.
Remember when I couldn’t sleep and I was praying for a sign? Well, I specifically asked God to show me my angel, an angel I could see so I would know I wasn’t alone. And he did. While He rolled me into surgery I was thinking of all the things God had done for me and as I laughed out of pure joy, I slowly went to sleep.
After surgery my doctor explained that he feels confident that they removed all the cancerous tissue. He said that he was shocked that the tissue surrounding the arteries and veins melted right off without any problems (another answered prayer in my opinion). I now have a drip bag attached to my body for any excess fluid. And now we wait for the pathology report.
Thank you for taking the time out of your life to pray for me. Prayer is the best thing anyone could have done for me in this situation. It says in Matthew 18:20 “For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.”
Prayer is Power.
– Idalia K.